Forgiveness - A Mother's Battle

You know that battle we all fight, are we good enough, are we being the best mom we can be?  It doesn't matter if your a single mom, stay at home mom, working mom, hell you could be a step ford wife living the dream and STILL battle if we are doing enough, if WE are enough.

We battle our inner demons daily, compare ourselves to the other "perfect" mom's we see posting and flaunting their accomplishments but can I let you in on a secret.  We all feel the same!  You see I have few skills but those that I do have I try very hard to perfect.  I love to bake and craft, so I share these thing but no matter how "good" I may seem  in the few things I do well at I fail in so many other things.  I fail daily wondering if being a stay at home mom is enough, I'm tired and I don't want to clean (is that ok?  Will my husband be upset that I've done nothing today?), my oldest reminds me that I forgot to sign something making him lose a block at school.  

Ya'll this mom thing ain't no joke!

My girlfriend and I vent all of the time about are we good enough.  We tease about switching lives for a few days so I can be a working mom and she can stay home.  What it all boils down to is we all struggle with the same things.  So here is my point, a dear friend from school back in the old days had a beautiful poetic child who likes to take her scrap leather and make bracelets to inspire.  Recently I bought some for the boys and one for myself, to remind myself that not only am I enough but that I need to forgive myself when I don't feel enough.

Forgive yourselves mama's because tomorrow, is another day and it can be worse than the day before.  Not what you wanted to hear but it's the truth.  Forgive yourself today and start over tomorrow because at the end of the day you don't have to be perfect to be the perfect parent to your kids.

Dear Picky Eater Child

I love you in so many ways, although lets be real here.  I don't always like you.

You are my 3rd child and from early on you were a picky eater.  You use to love chicken nuggets from Chickfila and occasionally you would eat grilled cheese, mashed potatoes, and really most things I made for dinner.  You turned 2 and that all changed... You decided that you didn't like most things but thankfully still retained your love of fruit and yogurt.

You are now almost 5 and the food issues have only grown. I made you special mini pancakes that look like the mini muffins you love but what did you do?  You took one look and realized they didn't look like your mini pancakes so you refused to even try them...  30 seconds later you asked me for real mini pancakes. 

No, NO, NO!!!

You gag when trying anything new, pitch a fit and cry if I ask you to take was small bite of anything beyond your special list of foods.  While I am so glad that you aren't that kid that only eats French fries and ketchup, I am tired.

From your mama who loves to cook, you exhaust me. 

I do still love you, but sometimes, I really don't like you. 

Once I have reached my breaking point you kindly  say in the sweetest voice possible, "mommy?"

"Yes child of mine, whom I am not sure where you came from?"

"Mommy I love you, a thousand times"

(Deep breath) "I love you too monkey, forever and ever"

Moving is hardest on the Stay At Home Mom

Let me tell you something about being a mom and MOVING!  You think it's going to be hard because the packing and unpacking or let's be selfless and worry about how the kids will transition school and miss their friends.  I'm here to tell you that all of that sucks.  It's not easy but we get through it and suddenly your kids have 15 friends coming in and out of your house after a week of being in your new location but what about us?  You know us mom's???

Well we leave our friends.  Our support group when child blah blah is being a brat or testing our patience.  Our support group who vent with us about how horrible our husbands are even when they aren't really that horrible but we sympathise together anyways. 

Yea, you leave that and try as you might, they will move on.  It's not anyone's fault but we get busy, we have kids!!!  Our schedules get busy because theirs do but what about that support group that's suddenly gone?  Girl, it's going to suck.  You maybe a lucky one and some of your support group you can call and keep in touch with for a time.  You also maybe lucky enough to move closer to an old friend but for those of us that move away from all of that and to a place unknown you can bet it's going to be hard.

We don't go to school and meet friends instantly.  We spend 15 minutes maybe volunteering at school talking to another adult for a small percentage of that time and that's not enough time to make friends.  You say hello to the moms you see on a weekly basis at whatever activity or sport your child is involved in but you go home and miss girls night out.

This is a time in our lives where making friends with fellow mom's is just plain hard to impossible.  You have to focus on your kids and even if you connect with someone they may have their own support group and making new mom friends just isn't on their list.  So we suck it up, focus on our kids and try and wash our hair more than once a week.

Mama said their would be days like this but you just cannot quite understand until you are walking in those shoes.  Eventually you will find friends.  You will connect somewhere or with someone.  You will find your place, or you maybe mom and wife and pray that changes down the road.  Either way, there is a group out there rallying you on.  I'm here reminding you that even though it sucks, there is light at the end of the tunnel, this too shall pass and what not.

I'm not at that place so I'll sit in misery with you holding the bottle of wine pouring you another glass.

Korean Skin Care - Where do you begin? - Part 2

Ok ladies, tell me, how many steps do you have in your normal skin care routine?  1, 2, none??  I was a zero girl.  If I washed my face it was in the shower with my husbands face wash.  He was much more concerned about his skin than I ever have been but he also deals with moderate acne from time to time.  I hardly ever dealt with acne and if I did it was hormonal and didn't last long.  I know, I know...  all of the girls dealing with skin issues are ready to kill me now.

When I started to look into skin care I was ready to blow $300 on Rodan and Fields just to get results like the pictures, fast.  However, I don't like spending crazy amounts of money on something that seems to good to be true.  So I researched and studied up on what makes our skin do what it does.  Come to find out we as Americans like quick results with little work, I know right, ASTOUNDING!  However, like in life, little work tends to result in few results.  Koreans however are taught from a young age that your skin is something you should treasure.  Like French women they teach their daughters their skin is worth caring for and from a young age they pass on their treasured skincare routines.

Korean companies know this and they are at the fore front of skin care products.  Korean women are always looking for new products and ingredients that will keep their youthful look.  So lets just skip to the good stuff, what do they do??

The key is hydration and controlling sebum.  Sebum is what makes your face break out in acne, black heads, and white heads.  Sebaceous glands secrete oil so if you have overactive glands you will have oily skin and yes you can have oily skin and not hydrated skin!  So we need to find products that work with your skin to neutralize the sebum.

Double Cleansing
Oil Cleanser

To start I added and oil cleanser to take off any oil based make up and sunscreen. I added sunscreen to my morning routine immediately because I worshiped the sun which unfortunately had caused sunspots and added wrinkles but your basic cleanser does not remove your sunscreen like an oil cleanser will plus it takes off any of your oil based makeup which most of us have if you wear makeup. Currently I am using Neutrogena Oil Cleanser because they have started to follow the trend and this is a great light oil cleanser that I can buy at CVS instead of ordering online like most of my other products.  This is also only used at night so its one less step in the morning.

Foam Cleanser

The first question I asked was why double cleanse?  Well, hopefully I answered why you need an oil cleanser but the foam cleanser is to take off any dirt and grime left over after your oil cleanser.  You may not think you need it but in order to continue to you will need a clean face.  Korean foam cleansers are gentle and honestly I love double cleansing.  It doesn't take much time and I feel great after.  I tend to use a couple of these depending on what I am feeling like at night.  I am a huge fan of the Elizavecca pore cleansing foam which looks like black tar because it has activated charcoal in it but I have also tried several of their other foaming cleansers and love them as well so I would suggest any of their products but Memebox carries a variety of other lighter foam cleansers with tons of reviews to help you select what's right for you.

Toner

When I think of toner I think of the astringent alcohol based toners that you cleaned your face with.  This is NOT the toner you are thinking of folks.  Korean toner is light and prepares your skin for what comes next.  It is also something you pat into your skin rather than swipe all over.  It does not contain alcohol and will not dry out your skin. My favorite is Benton BHA Skin Toner.  It has aloe and is really light and clean.  Once you put this on let it dry before moving on to anything else. 

First Essence

Alright this is where things get interesting.  First essences are huge in Korean skincare and ultimately are essential in any routine.  They work together with your toner to add hydration and continue to prepare your skin for any further steps.  Traditionally they are light and watery and contain tons of active ingredients but mainly fermented yeast.  Basically people started to notice how soft the skin of the hands of workers in Saki factories were and companies found the fermented yeast in Saki creates softer skin.  Amazing right!?  There are tons of different kinds of First Essences and multiple different ingredients to add to what is already a great product but choosing one will be up to you and what your skincare needs are.  I LOVE Missha First Essence but like I said there are several other companies that make them but stick to Sokoglam.com or Memebox.com to order them.  Ill get into the why's of this later

Essence and Serums

Here is where your routine can add up.  To treat your specific needs and wants there are serums and essences which are a little thicker than your toner and first essence.  They are also made of crazy ingredients which may sound crazy at first but remember Korean skincare is always looking for new and NATURAL ingredients to cater to Korean women's search for better skin.  I use several depending on how much time I have in the evening and they include snail mucus enzymes, bee venom, and goat placenta.  Scared yet?  Don't be, I assure you they do not smell, and are not as crazy or scary as they sound.  This is a step that you will need to find what's right for you and what your concerns or needs are.  You can skip this step entirely or add anywhere from 1 to 10, it's all up to you and there are no right or wrong answers here.

Face Masks

Oh ladies, this is my favorite part!  I could use a face mask every night and honestly I could probably add them in the morning if I had all of the time in the world.  Face masks are a fun way to add multiple different serums and essence in one step.  They are mostly cotton masks, though I have had a couple that were more a silicone type material, that are soaked in different types of serums that you where for 15 to 20 minutes.  They force all of that goodness into your skin and leave you feeling relaxed and wonderful!  No really they are heaven and there are a million different masks that again treat different needs and wants but in my opinion you can't really go wrong with any of them.  Once you take them off you rub in the rest and continue on!

Moisturizer/Sunscreen

This is the final step in your routine at night and are essential.  The moisturizer is just that and locks in all of the ingredients your just put on your skin.  I use an eye cream and a lotion from Philosophy in the morning and in the evening Guerisson 9 complex cream.  It smells like grapefruit, looks like butter, and feels amazing!  Sometimes I will also add a sleeping pack if my skin feels dry that day.  Sleeping packs are just another cream to put on at the end that add an extra moisture lock overnight.

In the morning after my moisturizer I put on sunscreen.  Biore Watery Essence Sunscreen is hands down my favorite because it is water based and very light.

Alright, from 1 to 10 how overwhelmed are you?

Don't be, start with your double cleanse and moisturizer and go from there.  I will tell you this stuff is addicting.  I love finding new products to add but when adding new products do so one at a time and give it a week or so before adding anything else so you know how each product is affecting your skin but in the end just have fun!  I promise you will notice a difference in your skin.


A few additions:

There are a few things I left out that I don't use all of the time.  Exfoliating is very useful but they aren't typically an every night thing for me.  These remove dead skin and are used after cleansing before toner.  There are a wide variety of these out there and I have found some feel better than others but really I love Skinfood black sugar mask as an inexpensive mask and Rodan and Fields exfoliating mask.  I am not really and advocate of Rodan and Fields but if you don't mind a splurge this is a great mask to use.

AHA and BHA toner is also in my skincare routine but I do not use these daily.  When I do use them its only in the evening and when I feel a breakout coming or already have an acne flair up.  They are used before your other toners.  When I do use them it's a miracle in a bottle and I don't say that lightly.  It clears up and acne or flair up within 24 hours and I am not exaggerating.  Like I said previously I don't breakout often which is mostly why I don't use this every night.  If you do break out often then you may want to add this to your daily routine.  AHA/BHA Toner by Cosrx is amazing!  They also have a blackhead power liquid that I have heard is amazing but haven't tried so I cannot say for sure but I haven't disliked any of Cosrx products so far.

Where should you buy your products?  The two main sites I order from are Sokoglam and Memebox.  Both offer great products without the crazy long shipping times and you are getting the real thing.  You can order on Amazon but be careful because you may not always get the genuine thing.  There are a few places that you can go that have started carrying Korean products like Ulta which carries Tony Moly products.  If you live in Chicago or New York there are boutique stores that are a whole store full of Korean skincare products!  I sadly do not live near one of these amazing stores and my husband is probably thankful for that.

You made it to the end!  If you made it this far CONGRATS!  No really, thank you.  If you have a question feel free to ask away in the comment section!  I am by no means an expert but after 6 months of research and trial by error I have learned a few things and would love to share!

Goodbye Summer Hello Only One Child

This probably goes without saying but I like to stay busy.  My version of busy is probably different than others.  I figure you may have guessed that from the fact that I kept having kids after baby #2.  So the fact that in a month I will have 3 in school 5 days a week and one year left with one last child not in school is terrifying. 

I am actually dreading school starting.  Yea yea I know, for all of you who just rolled your eyes I know, I know!  However this is the stage in life that I am equally anticipating and scared to death of.  What am I going to do with only one child at home!  Next year will be even worse because Ryan will be in preschool and I am ALONE!  I remember quite well how excited I was when Conner and Noah both were in preschool and for a short time I was alone until Evan was born a few months later.  I couldn't wait to go to the grocery store alone and catch up on my DVR'd shows with no interruption but that was over 5 years ago and boy has life changed since then.

You see my version of hard had changed.  When you are a mom of 2 that's all you know and you can't imagine how to juggle 4 because you've never experienced it.  I tell moms this all of the time when they say "I can't imagine how you do it!  I can barely handle 2!"  Girlfriend, I was there once too, your version of hard just changes.  So going from 4 to 1 is intensely scary for me.  There is too much free time and not enough to keep me busy.  Sure I can clean with only one child coming behind me to destroy what I just did.  Only one child to hear demands from, one to take to the store, one to feed lunch and snacks to, ONE!

All to soon one will be none and they will all grow up way to quickly and leave me.  I look forward to seeing them grow up into men and I don't want time to speed up.  I know that my days will be filled with more sports, more activities, more friends at the house, and more to do than I can ever imagine but for now, this point in life scares me.  I keep wondering what I will fill my days with because to be honest some days during the summer with 4 kids at home and friends from the neighborhood hanging out, I still find myself bored for lack of a better word.  I miss coaching, working at my moms store, and having another title than just mom but that time in my life has passed and while one day in the future it may come around again for now it's just me being mom to 4 wonderful boys who will be heading off to school shortly and maybe, just maybe I can find happiness in knowing Ryan and I will hold down the fort and get quality time, just the 2 of us.

For now I will enjoy the last few weeks of summer making memories with all 4 of them. 

Korean Skin Care Routine - What is it all about??? PART 1

Let's just get this out if the way, I've been gone, I have no other excuse except kids...

You know 4 boys, they take up all of my brain power and I've neglected this blog yet again buy I have a new found desire to talk.  Basically I tend to get a focus on something and then research the heck out of it.  When I was having babies I researched EVERYTHING!!!  Like everything!  So where did the topic of skin care come up you ask?

Well, I am now turning 33 at the end of the month.  I could care less about age, I am not scared of getting older, bring it on!  Except suddenly I look in the mirror and I see new lines and dryness that I never saw before.  So my first thought was my makeup needed a rejuvenation.  I tried everything for aging skin and got no where.  So I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture.  My make up wasn't the issue my skin was and sadly I had taken that for granted.  I had pretty good skin my entire life to which I thank genetics.  I rarely washed my face and left make up on very often.  I never really wore much make up except concealer to hide my dark circles but as I got older I wore more and more concealer that just got gross and made my wrinkles look that much worse.

So I invested in eye cream, face wash, and eye cream.  Then started the research!  Ladies and gentlemen months and months of research!  Come to find out, Americans are incredible hard on their skin and rely on surgical methods or both instead of taking care of it early on.  The French and Asians take a totally different approach.

Are you still with me??   I hope so because this is where it gets good.  We are doing it wrong!!!  We are raising generation after generation of women who want an easy solution but also want to bask in the sun.  Hey, I include myself in that!!  I wanted the sun kissed glow and still wanted youthful looking skin and then when I got older I was looking for a miracle cure to turn back the time but sadly folks, such as life, it doesn't work that way.

Looking for more info??  Are you truly interesting in helping turn back time??  Let's go to part 2!!

Korean Skin Care Part 2

Pinterest - The Devil or Best Invention EVER!?

Who isn't on Pinterest?  For that matter can you pronounce this wonderfully insane website??

It is addicting, there are meme's everywhere depicting how addicted we women are.  So how do you use it?  Are you pinning things just for fun?  Are you a craft enthusiast and make the things you pin?  Do you love food and pin all kinds of yummy things only to order pizza?  You could be a combinations of these or you use Pinterest for totally different reasons but in my case I am all of these things and more.

I started with a love of food.  I pinned so may Yummy Appetizers that I created a whole new board for it!  Then I moved onto Yummy Dinners because of course my family needs to eat dinner and what better way to find a good meal idea than Pinterest! 

And then I was hooked!

I was pinning everything from pictures, to dream vacation spots, desserts, clothes, funny things, you name it I will pin it if it's something I find awesome.  So a little while back I realized I was making my meal plans from Pinterest on a weekly basis so I created a board for my Weekly Menu Planning.  I have tried so many of these recipes that I pin the next step is to create a board that shares which recipes I have tried and enjoyed.

After awhile I realized I was gaining quite a lot of followers with is addicting let me tell you!  I am constantly pinning and editing my boards to make sure my Pinterest boards are interesting.  Why do I do all of this?  Well, there are millions upon millions of pins!  You could get sucked in for days!  However it has really helped me get organized with my weekly menu.  It has opened a world of food that I would have never found.  We are trying food from across the world which is so fun and interesting for the boys.

I have always been into crafts and DIY things for my house which as you probably know if you know anything about Pinterest those types of things are in abundance on Pinterest.

How do you use Pinterest?  Let me know in the comments and feel free to follow my pins!

If you are a blogger, small business owner, or just interesting in learning more about how to gain followers on Pinterest, send me an email and I would love to help!