Confession Time - Is Yelling Affective?

Do you know who your biggest critic is?

You

Not Susie Pinterest or Karen the organizer or even Judy the judgemental, it's you.

You compare yourself to everyone you think is doing a better job than you.  You put yourself down for not living up to some standard that we set for ourselves that are 99% of the time unrealistic.  I say this not because I am judging you, putting you down, or just pointing out the obvious but because we are all the same.  You may struggle with different aspects of life than I am but we all struggle.  I have 4 boys, you may have 2 but both are hard!

My boys have recently began pushing me to the boiling point.  Some of its my own stresses from moving, dealing with a very needy 3 year old and 8 month old but it's also them getting older and pushing boundaries.  Plus, who am I kidding, they are boys!  Young men and we all know men don't typically listen that well...

Sorry men...  but it's true.

I find myself repeating the same things over and over again until I lose it and yell.  I then spend 10 to 15 minutes beating myself up about yelling and promise myself to do a better job the next time until the next time comes and it's the same vicous cycle all over again.

At the same time I am typing this Ryan is screaming for the 4th time tonight.

So does yelling work?  It seems like it, at least it gets their attention but are the down sides out weighing the positive of them finally paying attention?  I'm not sure if it does but nothing else seems to be working.

As a mom I am tired.

The little ones need me all of the time but the older ones are growing so fast I feel like they are growing too far away from me.  Is this a common theme with families of more than three kids?  I surely cannot be alone in this but I feel like it.

I worry the most about Noah, my sweet sweet Noah who seems to be struggling the most with his younger siblings.  I want more time with him to nurture his sweet side but I can't seem to find enough time in the day when Ryan doesn't need me or Evan who has an insanely strong personality is being his very crazy self.

I don't have the answers, who does?  We do what we can to the best of our ability and give the rest to God.  It's all I can do as a very imperfect person.

Ultimately I love my boys and am 200% determined to show them and tell them as often as I can.

Stitch Fix - This is why I don't like clothes shopping

I look forward to these emails now.

That email from Stitch Fix let's me know that the box is on its way and I track the box every single day until it's on my steps and then I have the joy of opening it! 

What is Stitch Fix?  Well, it's heaven in a box for all of you who like clothes but don't have the time to deal with shopping.  You can sign up to receive your fix as often as every week or once every other month.  Once you sign up you are asked a lot of questions about your style which helps your personal stylist choose the best options for you.  You can also link your Pinterest board which is awesome since pinning is my hobby. Is that a legitimate hobby?  Maybe not but who cares, it is now!  So, back to the point, you will receive 5 items in each box and you can select what you want to see more of.  I don't wear that much jewelry but the stuff that I do wear tends to be staple pieces so I requested jewelry to come not that often.  You can choose your price range and if you want accesories then you just wait for your first fix!  You will be charged $20 when it ships but that will be credited to whatever you purchase and if you send it all back then it will go towards your next box.  Anything you send back is sent back in a prepaid shipping bag that you just drop off at the post office!  It's that easy folks!

So let's move on to the good stuff!

This week my 5 things included 2 shirts, one pair of black pants, a sweater/jacket, and a necklace.  I also got a very sweet note from my sylist commenting on how awesome my Pinterest page was and she loved my style.  She probably saw this to everyone but of course it was a little boost to my fragile mommy self.

Ok so here is my honest opinion...

Side note - try and ignore the mess and the toddler bed in the corner...  

The first picture is the shirt, necklace and. black pants.  I like the fit of the shirt except the neck is large and shows my bra strap which I am not a fan of.  The necklace is ok but feels like cheap plastic and for $40, not worth it to me.  The pants fit great and are a legging feel without the thinness of a legging.  They stretch a bit but hold up so I'm hoping they don't stretch out like jeans. 

 

The second photo is the sweater/jacket which I just added to the top of the previous outfit which may have changed the fit.  It's very soft and comfortable with a funky design but it seems to hit me in a strange way and it could very much be because of my boob size but I'm on the fence either way.

Now onto the last piece...  I love love love this color but I knew when I saw the style sheet that it wouldn't be flattering.  This type of blouse just makes me look pregnant and I totally blame the boobs this time.

They are always getting in my way and sabotaging very lovely outfits.  

All in all I am definitely keeping the pants but will sleep on the dark grey shirt and jacket.  For sure going back is that beautiful emerald shirt and necklace.  

Check out my Pinterest page for more style options and if you are interested in a Fix of your own to you can sign up for your own Stitch Fix!  

Moving is hard! And lonely...

What a lame subject...

We moved almost 2 months ago and the kids are doing fantastic.  We love living here and the holidays were insane but now we can settle in a little bit more and it's a little more intense...

...

(... = me trailing off into eye rolls and a big sigh)

.........

Ok so the boys have made friends, they love the new house, both seem to be adjusting to school, we love trying new things and getting outdoors.  There is so much to do and see plus everywhere you go you see mountains!  It's heaven!

And here it comes...

The but.

But it's lonely.  I miss my family and friends.  I miss my spouse who works way more now than he use to which I knew going into this that a promotion meant more time at work.

The absence of the holidays means reality of being here alone sets in.

I am not a shy person but I'm picky about my friends.  Friends are not something I rush into and I am not use to being mom 24/7 and nothing else.

That sounds harsh.

I love my kids but they are not my identity. 
I'm sure this phase will get easier but right now it's really hard and feeling distant from the hubs makes it worse.

If you have made it this far into my depressing post, thank you. :)

On a positive note!  Baby weight is falling off with all of these stairs!  There are stairs everywhere and carrying my 8 month old 22 lb chunk is a total work out.  Bad/good part is I need smaller pants but I purged them all before the move because I gave up fitting back into them. 

Enter Stich Fix! 

I started using them in November because I just don't have time to shop so they do it for me!  My next fix comes Monday and I can't wait to see what they send.

My New Year's goal is to not be a stranger to my lonely blog.  :)

I'll be back!

I'm sorry, I miss you - 30 Days Of Blogging

It's been too long...

To be fair, I have 4 kids...

They consume my whole life but this blog is about that and I am determined to update it regularly so back to the 30 days of blogging challenge!

#30daysofblogging

Because who doesn't like a good hastag??

OK seriously,  here are some updates if you haven't been keeping up with Facebook.

*Ryan will be 6 months old this Friday!
*He does NOT sleep through the night
*We are still dealing with reflux
*He is crawling!
*Evan turned 3
*Darien got a promotion and we are moving!
*Yes, we are moving!!
*I like food
*My niece turned 1! (I just love her :))
*We are putting down new floors in our house
*We officially have rented out our house and the new tenants move in November 15th
*I love wine
*We are moving to Asheville, NC
*We have yet to find a house there yet
*I need a bigger wine glass
*I really don't drink as much as I say I would like to
*Are you tired of the bullet points yet?
*I have packed approximately 4 boxes
*I am very very tired

Ok that's enough, caught up now?

We are very excited about the move but also kinda sad.  Most of my family lives in our current town and it will be sad to leave them but this is also a grand adventure for our family of 6 and who doesn't love the mountains!  I am so excited about camping and hiking!!  This makes me a great mom of boys.  The boys and I are not officially moving until school gets out for Christmas so in the time between when we have to be out of the house and the time the boys get out of school we will be taking over my moms house which I know she is just thrilled about. :) 

I am ready for December mostly because all of the changes are very stressful and I will be thrilled to be settled and our family back together.  This is Dariens last week of work at his current position which I am sure is bittersweet for him.  Next week starts more serious packing and I need to get my butt in gear.

For now I will take it one day at a time.  :) 

If you want to keep up with our journey, follow me on Facebook.  Four Boys One Queen

Make it Monday

I love to craft.

I have a craft supply hoarding problem.

5 Tupperware boxes full of assorted craft supplies in both of the boys rooms closets.  Also, Pinterest is the devil and now aids in my addiction.

The first step is admitting you have a problem, I have no clue what the next step is so I'll just decide to do something with these craft supplies.

Enter,  Make It Monday!

Every Monday, I will make something, even if it's a noodle necklace with yarn!  I can wear it around town and claim that one of the boys made it.  This is the benefit of having kids. 

So today, I am being adventurous.  Setting my expectations high!  (Never a good thing..)  This project will involve tools of the manly sort.  You know like an electric saw, screws, and maybe a hammer.  Is a hammer manly?  If it comes in pink does it qualify as more of a unisex tool?  (my head just directly into the gutter, but I digress)

If you follow me on Pinterest you may have already guessed that my first project is a pallet project.   Nothing too fancy, like an outdoor couch, which might be something I tackle down the road but for now I will stick with a sign or something. 

So now it's time to get off this here blog (I am from the south, your gonna get a lot of that here, you've been warned) and get the boys dressed to find pallets! 

Back To School

I am tired...

Ryan decided to time his 4 month growth spurt to follow along with the boys going back to school. 

Not cool little man, not cool.

So, I have been up every 2 hours starting at 2 am.  My alarm goes off at 6:20 am but typically I am already awake and just hoping the clock is wrong and it's really  Saturday so I can go back to sleep.  Alas, it's not Saturday and I must get up and start the day.  While I am thrilled that the older two are back in school and I have my hands a little more free than they were over the summer it also brings a whole other set of issues.  Once the bus stops and the boys get in the door we don't slow down until bed time.  Home work, followed by various sports, dinner, bath, and then finally bed.  I shouldn't be so whiney about this because it's really what I thrive on but by 3:15 my energy is gone and I am dragging so I pull out a coffee cup for a pick me up.

This new schedule is going to take some getting use to and hopefully Ryan decides to sleep again.

So there is a bigger picture here that I really want to address.  I find myself being more and more grateful for my parents the older my kids get.  I doubt you are asking why because really there are many things you are probably grateful for as adults that you were not as much as a child.  That aside, today I am thankful for the fact that my parents allowed me to participate in sports.  I never understood how much this cost them! 

We have had the boys in soccer,  baseball, and flag football and while they all cost money they weren't more than $65 for a fairly long season.  Noah, my second, doesn't care for team sports.  My husband, try as he might, couldn't convince him to play.  Finally last year he asked to do gymnastics, Darien wasn't too excited.

So after a long time of asking he got a 6 week session for his birthday from Grandma.  He started last week and loves it.  I am beyond thrilled!   He is also doing year round swim team which he is so excited about that he sleeps with his goggles.  Conner is taking tennis lessons and they both are doing a running club.

So how much does this all cost you ask?  Well you didn't ask but in order to understand why I am so very grateful I will tell you. 

In order to continue gymnastics after this session it's $130.  That is for 6 sessions for 45 min once a week.
Swim team is $118 for insurance which thankfully is a one time fee for the year.  It is $55 a month plus our family membership to the YMCA which is $75 a month.   Conner is taking group tennis lessons at the YMCA and we lucked out because he is the only one signed up so we pay $40 a month for that but get private lessons which is actually $70 a month!

The school use to offer a free running club but this year an organization stepped in and is offering a more detailed club and it's $85 per child for the whole program. 

The costs add up and they aren't even in school sports yet!  As a cheerleader coach I know how much a Varsity sport costs!  My parents spent close to $800 a season and that's not including the monthly gym fee.

Since I am no longer coaching or working doing all of this is financially harder but worth it.  My parents never once told me I couldn't do something because of the costs.  We have actually had to have that conversation with Conner about swim although I didn't really want to.  He went back and forth on whether or not he wanted to sign up and finally we just sat him down and said he was going to have to decide between tennis and swim because swim was expensive and he needed to be very sure about it.  In the end he chose tennis.

So thank you mom for letting me do all of the sports, dance, and gymnastics classes even if I wasn't grateful for it then.  I cannot imagine how you did it when all four of us were involved in sports!  I am slightly dreading that day...

All in all, we are happy to have such active kids and even if I have to cut back here and there I will do so gladly.  In the meantime I am hoping Evan or Ryan decide to be artists. 

A mom can dream!

Art lessons are free right?!?!

Never A Dull Moment

It has been too long since my last blog post but have 4 boys and it being Summer has hampered my ability to juggle the blog along with everything else.  School starts in a week from tomorrow and I am sad but excited at the same time.  I am hoping that at the very least I will have a bit more time to update the blog at least once a week but let's be honest, I would settle for once a month. 

Ryan is almost 4 months old and there have been so many more changes in our house!  Hubby got the "snip snip" done so we are officially done having babies which was a sad moment for me but also a really great thing.  I think it will always be sad to have something that has been such a huge factor in our lives for almost 8 years be over with but it also is a fork in the road that brings us to a new place as a family.  I find myself trying to enjoy the small things, even the frustrating things just to hold on to the small amount of time my kids will be kids.  All too soon they will be teenagers! 

As high schoolers people ask the all to insane question of where you see yourself in 10 years and of course we are almost always wrong but at this point in life asking a mom where you see yourself in 10 years is a very real and tangible thing. 

In 10 years I will have a 17 year old who is getting ready to start his senior year and a 16 year old starting his junior year.   Evan will be almost 13 and Ryan 10!  That is such a crazy and scary thought that we are only 10 years away from that.  So as I sit here holding Ryan as he sleeps and listening to the older 3 fight over Lego's, I try very hard to just be still and enjoy it.  I know that all too soon I will be wondering why these days were gone so fast.

This summer since I haven't had cheerleader we enjoyed doing things, getting out of the house and going on adventures, attending camps, and VBS.  I never realized how much my coaching held my kids back from these little things.  I don't regret it but it definitely makes me see things in a new perspective. I've watched the older three fight over how to just be brothers.   It seems to be a never ending battle but slowly they seem to be working through it.  It will be exciting to see how Ryan fits into the mix. 

My little bit of time is coming to a close so as much as I want to keep writing, I need to get the boys to swim lessons!

Thank you all for sticking with me!  Find me on Facebook for short snip its of our daily craziness!